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Holding on to the seat, I wheel my newly purchased road bike out of the garage and onto my gravel driveway. I was excited about my first ride, also a bit nervous as I had zero experience with clipless pedals, but there I was, ready to go.

What happened next was like a bad, slow motion dream.

I clip my shoes and try to pedal. I instantly realize I’m in big trouble. My gear is too big, and I can’t get the bike to go. By the time my brain begins screaming “abort, abort” to unclip and put my leg out, it’s too late. I go down.

My first ride is from a dead stop to flat on my side, in the gravel, in my driveway.

Take that Lance Armstrong.

Here’s the best part: My wife, who had just filed for divorce, happened to be driving by at that very moment. I can still see my four-year-old son Kyle sitting in his car seat, waving from the back window and saying, “Hi daddy?” — with this confused look on his face.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-clouse/dont-eat-the-last-cookie-_b_7226196.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

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