#Family Law #Blended Families

8 Benefits Of Forging A Friendship With Your Ex’s New Wife
Where is my child? What is he doing right now? Is he crying or hungry? Is he in DANGER?

These and a multitude of other questions flooded my mind when I was suddenly a divorced mother at the age of 31. Due to a 50/50 custody arrangement, my son (who was only 3) lived in a world I no longer controlled. Intellectually, I knew divorce meant time away from my son, but I hadn’t expected the weight of an emotional collapse that pressed me into a fetal position in my son’s toddler bed. Clutching his stuffed animals, I wondered what he was doing without me.

This, all of this, sent me to the doctor for a prescription of antidepressants.

I couldn’t stop worrying about my child or crying while imagining a mess of worst case scenarios that choked me with horrible possibility. I couldn’t call, text or email my ex since we were supposed to be divorced and living our own lives. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my ex husband with our son; it’s that being away from our children is unnatural, unplanned and unwanted.

Then, one day, my son had a stepmother.

Instead of disliking her for no reason, I had a desire to know the woman who was mothering my child in my absence. I also realized she could be my eyes and ears, a veritable lifeline between my son and I during our time apart. It was through our shared mothering role and communication that the painful gap between my son and I slowly, oh so slowly, began to shrink.